


I’m loosing

by LittleIrishLeprechaun



Category: MacGyver
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:40:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24986200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleIrishLeprechaun/pseuds/LittleIrishLeprechaun
Summary: This story covers quite a sensitive topic, so be warned.Set before and during 4 x 4, 3 years continued my previous story, “An LA sort of mind”
Relationships: Riley Davis & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a separate story, but it is continued from “An LA state of mind” 
> 
> This is quite a touchy subject, but it needs to be addressed. It was one of my biggest fears while I was carrying my son.

Riley felt awful. Like, really awful. She was 16 days late and has been increasingly bloated. The thought that anyone thinks when they miss their period is lingering in her mind. She bounces back and forth on possible causes, but she kept coming back to it. Pregnant. She and Mac had been dating for the past three years and sure, they had talked now and again about their shared desires to have children, but it was never acted upon. Until about two weeks ago when Riley and Mac were very, very drunk and has possibly forgotten a condom.

“Mac! Can you come here please, Now!” She snapped. “Jeez woman” Mac said, which earned a glare from his girlfriend. “I was just in the kitchen not Mars” he laughed. “Mac, stay calm ok?” Riley placed her hand on his arm. “Riles?” Mac said with concern in his eyes” Riley took a deep breath “I um, I need you to go to the shop and pick up two uh, p-pregnancy test, please” Macs eyes went so wide they almost popped out of his sockets. “You... uh, pregnancy test?” He spluttered. “Mac please” Riley almost cried. “Ok ok yeh I’m g-going” Mac said as he ran out of the room and grabbed the keys. “What um, w-what type” he called. “A pee-on-the-stick kind!” She yelled. After the door closed, Riley sank down onto they bed. Her head fell into her hands. It wasn’t that she was unhappy that she was pregnant, she always wanted at least one child, but she wanted to plan it out. She wanted everything to be done perfectly. Fifteen agonising minutes later Mac arrived with a variety of pregnancy tests. Riley rose from the bed and went to meet him. “I said two you know” she chuckled. “Yeah I know, but it was a guy in the shop and he hadn’t a clue so I... just grabbed what I saw” he said sheepishly. Mac helped her unbox them and read the instructions. Mac waited on the bed of their en suite for her to be done. 

After peeing on seven sticks Riley came out holding 7 tests. Mac jumped up “Well?” Riley put the test down on the bedside table “I have to wait five minutes” she frowned. They sat side by side on the bed holding hands. After what felt like forever Macs time went off. Riley looked at the tests. She took a deep breath “They’re all positive” she whispered. Mac squeezed her hand. “What do you want to do” he asked it so calmly and gently and right there she saw a father in him. “At first... I thought I would have to think hard about it, but I don’t have to. I want a baby with you Mac” she said. Mac hugged her tighter. “Yeah?” He said. “Yeah”. Mac jumped to his feet. “I’m gonna be a dad!” He punched the air. “Mac, can we wait to tell the guys, until at least the sixteen week scan” she asked. “Of course, whenever your ready” Mac hugged her. “We should make an appointment with the doc though, to confirm and to make sure it has two arms and two legs” Mac said. “Yeh ok, can you go do that?” Riley asked. 

Three days later Riley and Mac were seen by the OB/GYN. “That’s our baby Riles” Mac said and kissed her hair. “That’s our baby” Riley cried. “I understand your job is very physically demanding” the doctor said. “Yes, will that be a problem doc?” Mac asked. “Not at all, I see this all the time, Ms. Davis, you can continue work as usual until you are 7 months, then you must rest” she smiled “you hear that babe? As usual, no hovering over me just because I’m pregnant”. Mac gave out a hearty laugh and the doc chuckled “I’ll give you some time alone” she smiled and left the room. “Mac, I don’t want the team to know yet, so seriously, no stopping me from doing things or they’ll get suspicious” Riley pointed a finger at him. “Fine fine” Mac surrendered. “Our baby” she smiled. 

A few days later the pair were back to work. Riley bump was small, but if you were looking for it you’d see it. Matty explained the mission and ten minutes later they were on a plane to Germany. “How are you feeling” Mac asked her. “I could really go for some peanuts” she said. Mac granted her wish and brought her a bag of peanuts. “If it’s a girl, I was thinking Evelyn, and a boy Noah” Riley said quietly to Mac. “Sounds beautiful Riles”. 

A few hours later they got off the plane at some German airport.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Genuinely had to sit Jack on my lap for this chapter and hug him as tight as his bones would allow

“Mac, Jack, Riley and I are in Matty, located two survivors and a body so far” Russ spoke aloud into the earpiece. “He was married, the body, I saw his band” Riley said sadly. “I know Riles but there’s nothing we can do for him only help his family gain closure” Mac rubbed her shoulders. All of a sudden Riley hissed and doubled over. “Riley!” Jack called “talk to me what’s wrong” he said. The men were crowded around staring like idiots. “I’m fine” she said straightening up and giving a smile “a bit of altitude sickness is all”. “Another survivor Matty” she called out and ran over to the man on the ground. He was clutching his arm to his chest but overall he looked stable. “Well done guys, only seven more to go” Matty called back. 

“Guys, we gotta problem” Mac called. “How big of a problem” jack asked. “About 5 foot long and 1 foot across.” The team followed Macs voice until they found themselves staring a second bomb in the face. “Oh that big” Jack put bluntly. Mac and Matty communicated back and forth for about ten minutes on how to deal with the second bomb. “Ok right now, Riley, Mac, your new priority is getting the bomb to the window on the 6th floor where German police will meet you with a crane and detonate the bomb in the river. Russ and Jack keep searching for survivors” Matty ordered. “Yes ma’am” Jack saluted. 

“So somehow we have to transport this Volkswagen weight bomb up 156 stairs using a make shift fridge transportation device” Riley asked while lifting the bomb up the stairs with Mac using his device. “Uh, yeh” Mac nodded. “Just please be careful” Mac said nodding at her stomach. “Stop worrying in f-fine” Riley groaned and almost let go of the bomb. “Riley what’s going on” Matty yelled. “Mac” Riley panted. She screamed in pain “I don’t think this is altitude sickness” she barely got her words out when the building shifted. “Mac!” “Riley” she tried to grab his hand but failed and went tumbling down the stairs. The bomb chased her and she had to pull herself down another flight of stairs. Mac jumped over the railing and landed just in time to pull Riley out of the way of the bomb, which landed exactly where her head just was. Riley buried her head in his shoulder, but then pulled back to clutch her stomach and cry out. “Riley what! What’s wrong did you get hurt” Mac yelled. “Riley!” Jack called, they could all hear the whole ordeal over coms. “Riley what’s happening, are you ok?!” Matty yelled. Riley could barely talk. She felt the blood pooling in her jeans. “I-i think” she screamed as another stab hit her “I think I’m having a miscarriage, I’m loosing the baby Mac!” she yelled and moaned in pain. Coms went silent, no one new what to say. Mattys voice went soft. “Riley how far along were you”. “She was 14 weeks” Mac called. “Mac, bomb” Riley managed to get out. She was in so much pain. Mac leaded over with her still in his lap and heard the bomb hissing. “Guys the acetone broke” he sighed. Riley screamed out again reminding them she was still miscarrying. “Ok Mac, you need to check if there’s blood” Matty said calmly. “No there’s no blood” Mac called back. “In... my... pants...idiot” Riley panted. Mac smiled sheepishly. “Ok Riles I’m gonna slip your jeans off ok” he whispered to her, still cradling her. She nodded, moaning in pain. The two men who were searching for survivors were still silent and praying that they’re girl was ok. As soon as Mac had pulled her jeans only to her mid thighs, there was blood everywhere. What scared him the most was the clots both running down her thighs and bulging out of her underwear, and he couldn’t help but think that his baby was one of them. He held back his sob as Matty was waiting for confirmation that Riley was indeed miscarrying. “Oh my god. Matty there’s so much blood” he called. He kissed Riley’s head. “Ok, Riley, I’m really sorry ok, but your definitely having a miscarriage” Matty said sadly. Riley sobbed. “Alright new plan, Jack and Russ will get the bomb to the window, Mac get Riley out of there and to the hospital where I’ll meet you” Matty said, but far from her boss voice. “On our way” came from Jack. 

“Mac” Riley cried and screamed at the same time. “Yeh” he said back, rocking her back and forth. “I’m so s-sorry Mac, I knew how muck you wanted this baby. I’m so sorry” she sobbed. Mac hugged her harder and stroked her hair. “Riley, in no way was this your fault ok? Yes I wanted a baby but so did you. It’s not your fault ok it’s your first pregnancy it’s common” he said. Mac was sad, not about the baby, the baby was gone now. But sad that his girlfriend was in so much pain. That she wouldn’t get to meet Evelyn or Noah . That she blames herself. He knows the mental pain a women goes when she suffers a miscarriage. Every time she moans or screams in pain it rips his heart more and more. Matty was speaking words of my encouragement to Riley but she couldn’t hear them. She was deafened by pain.

After about an agonising hour, Jack and Russ arrived from the other side of the building. “We brought a blanket for around your waist, you need to get out of those jeans” Russ said. He turned around while Jack held Riley up and Mac removed her pants from her ankles and underwear. He used her discarded jeans to clean her legs.Mac had heard that some women buried the *embryo, to help find closure, so he insisted on keeping her clothes. There was so much blood. He wrapped the blanket around her waist. He quickly explained to the guys how to transport the bomb. They could move quicker than Mac and Riley because the capsule had broken. Mac picked Riley up bridal style and stared carrying her to the entrance where they came in. Riley loosely wrapped her arms around his neck and tucked her head against his chest. Every time she cried or screamed in pain Mac would stop to make sure she was ok. She threw up three times on the way because of the pain and Macs heart was completely shattered. When they finally reached the entrance, paramedics were waiting for them and carted them both of in a ambulance to the nearest hospital. When they got there they were surprised to see Matty there so quickly. Riley was brought into a room and dressed in a gown and a bleeding pad, as she was not done miscarrying.

Matty came in while Riley was unconscious. “The doctors uh said that nothing caused it only it was her first pregnancy. It probably began the day before the mission, usually they last 4 days and bleeds don’t happen that soon, but she... was on the plane. That jumpstarted it. And then she f-fell and that” Mac started crying “that made the bleeding start and the miscarriage really happened” he was red eyed already. “Mac, I’m so sorry” Matty said and grabbed his hand. “What happens now” she asked. “The gynaecologist will clear her uterus and then she’ll be kept in for a night of observation, then she can go. But she might need to go see a therapist. The doctor says a miscarriage can take all sorts of mental tolls on a woman. Matty smiled sadly. “M-Mac” a croaky voice came from across the room. “Riley” Mac smiled. “I lost the baby Mac” she said monotoned. Mac nodded. “I’ll give you some privacy, do you need anything, coffee?” She asked the couple. Riley said nothing and just stared at the wall. “A muffin for her would be great thank you” Mac said. Matty smiled sadly and patted his shoulder and left. “Is there anything I can do riles” he asked. “Can you just.. hold me” she started to cry. She moved over and Mac climbed into the bed with her. She put her head on his chest and he wrapped his arms tightly around her. She went to put her leg over his bit hissed in pain. “Sorry this is an awkward position, I’m still sore” she said. “You have nothing to apologise for” Mac rubbed her arms. Riley was just closing her eyes when he heard a familiar voice shouting at reception. “ where is she! Where! You! I’m here to see my daughter where the hell is Riley Davis’s room!”. “Mac he can’t see me like this, I don’t want him to see me like this!” she said in a panic. “Riley the quicker we get him in the quicker we get him out ok? But if your really uncomfortable we can kick him out” Mac said as he stroked her hair. “Ok that’s a good point, just get him in and then get him out” Riley sighed. “it’s good to see you Riley, you gave us a bloody good scare” Russ said as he came into the room, carrying flowers. “Hey Russ” Mac greeted him. Riley gave a week attempt at a smile but then resumed to look at her hands. Matty came too and handed her her muffin “thank you” she said quite monotonous. Mac hopped of her bed and sat next to her holding her hand. “How are you feeling darlin’” Jack asked. “I’m a bit sore but I’m ok” she answered “Where hurts hon I’ll go get the doctor” he rubbed her arms “uh Jack” Mac said. “What?” He said completely oblivious. Mac glanced to her bleeding pad and back to Jack. Jacks eyes widened and he chuckled nervously “oh shit uh sorry”. Everyone except Riley laughed loudly. “Where’s bozer?” Riley asked. “I knew I forgot something” Matty yelled and ran out of the room calling bozer. This made Riley giggle a little. 

The next day the gynaecologist came to exam Riley “Hi Ms Davis, Mr MacGyver, I’m Doctor Phillips, I’m here to do your D&C” the gynaecologist said shaking Macs hand. She tried to shake Riley’s but she just stared blankly at the wall The team had left as soon as they saw her as they knew she would want privacy. “Sorry, she’s not very talkative at the moment” he said. “That’s completely normal. Miscarriages are one of the most mentally challenging thing a woman can go through, you just need to be there for her” Dr. Phillips replied kindly. The gynaecologist put Riley into stirrups and cleared the remains of the placenta in her uterus and signed her discharge papers. Riley held Mac the whole time and just stared at the ceiling. When Dr. Phillips was finished, she asked Riley if she had any questions. Riley opened her mouth to speak. “Um, I know it’s unlikely” she started slowly, her voice was thick and shaky “but is it possible for you to tell the gender of the embryo, i-if you found it?” Dr Philips smiled sadly. “Yes, in fact you can under a microscope. Is this something you want to try? I have to warn you though, it’s very new and isn’t always effective” she said. Riley looked at Mac for approval, he nodded. “Yes, please” she said. Dr Philips took the bag full of her uterine contents and her clothes to the lab. “If we have conclusive results, we’ll have them in less than a half an hour” she said as she walked out. Matty came in with clean clothes from a store down the road. “I had to guess the size so if it doesn’t fit I have the receipts” she said kindly. Once Riley was dresses and her hair was brushed, they sat on the chair in her room and waited for Dr. Phillips. About 25 minutes later, she came in. She crouched down so she was eye level with the couple. “We were able to get a conclusive reading. Ms Davis your embryo had the remains of a vaginal structure. Your embryo is a girl. Mac noticed how she remained medically professional and never said “was”. He liked that. But she didn’t refer to their baby as “your baby” because it wasn’t. It’s now a dead embryo. “I’m so sorry, I’ll give you guys some privacy, take all the time you need, your discharge papers have already been signed” Mac shook her hand once more and thanked her. “Little Evelyn” he said to Riley. “No.” She said. “No?” Mac was certain he heard her say he wanted her daughter to be called Evelyn. “No, I can’t call her Evelyn because I want an Evelyn” she said. Mac facepalmed himself internally. “I get it Riley it’s ok, we can think of another name for her” he said as he rubbed her arm. “You pick it, I picked Evelyn, so you pick it” Riley smiled at him. Mac smiled at her and thought for a minute. Evelyn is an Irish name, so is Angus. Noah is an American name, so is Riley. They have a bit of both, so why not a mix of both for their angel baby. “**Neamh” he said confidently. Riley smiled “that’s beautiful, what does it mean” she asked. Mac smiled “it’s the Irish for heaven” he said. Riley teared up. “Its perfect” she said Mac helped her into a wheelchair and brought her out to the car with the rest of the team, that was bringing them to the airport. When they arrived Mac picked her up and carried her into the plane, as walking was still painful for her. She winced as he placed her on the seat and buckled her belt. “I’m right beside you if you need anything ok?” He said. She nodded. 

Riley closed her eyes. “Let’s go home” and a single tear went down her cheek.

* An embryo is the stage before becoming a fetus, meaning it has the structure of a human, but not the function. Basically like a car with no petrol in its

** Neamh, pronounced Nav


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry but I have to introduce Desi to this chapter, TEMPORARILY, just to add a bit of ✨spice✨
> 
> She will be leaving 
> 
> At some point during this said 2 years Mac and Riley were married, I just wasn’t prepared to write that considering I’ve never been to one and don’t know what happens

~~ two years after last chapters events ~~ 

Mac woke up and to his surprise, Riley’s hair was not in his face. In fact Riley wasn’t there at all. Mac shot up into a sitting position and scanned the room. Riley was not in the bedroom. He was about to head out to the kitchen thinking maybe she woke up early and made breakfast, but then he heard it. Riley’s tiny sobs coming from the en suite bathroom.

“Riley!” He called and knocked on the door. No answer, just more sobbing. “I’m coming in” he said. He opened the door to find his wife sitting on the closed toilet with her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. “Riley what’s wrong” he said as he dropped to the floor next to her and took her hand. Riley looked at him with utter heartbreak. She took a deep breathe to try calm herself down but it didn’t work. “Mac I need you to go to the shop and get me some tampons please” she said and broke down again. Mac looked back at her and his heart broke for her. “Ok, I’ll be right back, will you be ok here?” He asked. She nodded. 

Mac came back less than 10 minutes later with two boxes of tampons, chocolate and a Gatorade. Riley hadn’t moved from her position in the bathroom. Mac undressed himself and her and carried her into the shower. He washed her hair and cleaned her body. Then he put the sheets and her underwear into a cold basin of water with peroxide. He put on his usual work attire and helped Riley back into her pyjamas. “I’ll let Matty know what’s going on, she’ll understand” he said as he kissed her head and tucked her in with a hot water bottle. “Thanks Mac” she whispered. 

Mac arrived at work just 5 minutes late. He walked in to find Matty, Bozer, Russ and the new girl Desi. She’d only been here a week but she’d already caused some problems. “Where’s Riley” was the first thing Matty said when Mac arrived alone. Mac sighed and sunk into his chair. “Riley got her period this morning” he said, almost broken. Everyone looked sadly at him, except Desi, she looked mad. “So? I’m on my period right now too but I’m here! Jesus she’s so lazy” she laughed. Everyone looked at her, fuming. Russ spoke up. “Desi, Mac and Riley have been trying for a baby for the past two years” he spit at her. Desi’s smile faded. “Mac I-” She went to say, but Bozer interrupted her “Mac and Riley have also suffered two miscarriages and months of this, Riley finding out once again she’s not pregnant” he almost yelled. “So yes Desi, she’s not here because she is on her period, ok?” Mac hissed. Matty looked like she was about to exploded about Desi remarks, but the boys got there first. She knew better now to say nothing and just look scary. That usually worked 

Everyone stayed silent for a few minutes. “Mac, I’m so sorry, I had no idea” Desi piped up, she sounded genuinely sorry. Mac started to feel bad but then remembered what she said about his wife. He just gave her a nod. Matty’s voiced filled the room “Ok folks onto today’s task...” 

~~ after the mission ~~

Mac was in the hospital with the team, Russ had to have a minor surgery after dislocating his shoulder, but he’ll be fine. Mac and Matty went for a walk around the hospital. Somehow they ended up at the nursery. They stopped and Mac started staring at the little babies. Mac started to cry. “It’s not fair that all these family’s get to walk out with these babies, and Riley doesn’t” he said. Matty had never seen him cry before. It was an emotional moment when he crouched down and hugged her, sobbing into her shoulder. Matty rubbed his back and calmed him down the same way he would to Riley every time she woke up to find out yet again she wasn’t pregnant. “Mac, someday you will get your baby. It won’t be easy but you’ll find a way, I promise to help you anyway I can, and if that involves using my power in the government then so be it” Mac and her chuckled. “Thanks Matty” he said. “I’m just glad we named Neamh and *Lani. It’s nice to have buried them properly” he said. She smiled sadly. 

Suddenly an Irish couple walked up to him. The lady spoke first, “I’m so sorry for eavesdropping, but did I hear you say you named your baby Neamh?” She asked. “Not my baby exactly, when my wife miscarried we decided to name the embryo and burry it. I come from Irish descent so I chose Neamh, because she is in heaven now” he explained. By the time he was finished the lady was in a mess of tears. “I’m so sorry, she’s still hormonal. Thats our baby there” said her husband as he pointed to a gorgeous baby girl. The wife spoke up again. “Her name is Neamh” she cried. Mac couldn’t help it. He let the tears spill. 

Everyone around them who heard the story was crying, even Matty. After a long conversation and an exchange of numbers, Mac left Patrick and Dee to go tend to his wife at home 

When Mac got back, Riley was cooking dinner for him. He sat him down and told him about Patrick and Dee and their daughter. She was in tears by the end of it and thought it was beautiful. Desi dropped by and gave Riley and Mac some balloons and a teddy bear. They all made up and she stayed for beers when the rest of the team arrived. It was a good end to a sad day

~~ one month later ~~ 

A month later, sure enough Mac woke up to an empty bed. He walked to the bathroom and found Riley on the floor, crying again. “Riley, I’m so sorry” but Riley looked up at him and she was smiling over three identical sticks with three identical plus symbols 

“I’m pregnant Mac”

* Lani- Hawaiian for heaven


End file.
